MAROON MEMOIR | From the Start

I loved you from the start, which feels strange to admit, because I didn’t know love could hide so quietly. Maybe it began that afternoon walking to my grandma’s house, when I saw you, called your name, and watched your smile bloom like it always did. Something in me shifted then, sudden and delicate, like Cupid finding a new place to land. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now. Oh, the burning pain

We use to fill our nights with conversations that stretched a little too long. Somewhere between laughing and listening, I fell, quietly, deeply, without asking for permission. Just thinking of you

I know I've loved you from the start. Still, I told myself it wasn’t love. You were my best friend. You were like a brother. But now I don't need reminders of how you don't feel the same, it's so terrifyingly unrequited

And then there’s her. You talk about her the way people talk about someone they’re afraid to lose. I tell myself Why should I care about her? Because you care about her, So I listen, even when it burns. That’s the cruel part. I pretend not to notice how my chest tightens every time you say her name, Oh, the burning pain..I don't need reminders of how you don't feel the same... How unrequited love hums softly, a sound only I can hear.

Love is driving me a bit insane

Oh, how I wish you'll wake up one day

Run to me, confess your love, at least just let me say-...

Now I see the truth. I didn’t fall all at once, I’d been falling all along. I loved you from the start. I was just too blind, too afraid, too busy calling it something safer. And realizing that now hurts in the quietest way, because you harp on 'bout some new soulmate. But just know I loved you from the start...